I was afraid of cynicism, hurt, offense, and doubt. In asking God why, I realized I was terrified of admitting I wanted anything and what it would do my heart to acknowledge more and more things that would only turn into disappointments or road signs that what was in my heart didn't really matter to God. I had made the choice to never really give much time or attention what I wanted. I realized that somewhere along the line of experiencing disappointment and unfulfilled promises from family and friends, I had stopped asking for anything at all. In the months since, God and I have been talking about that conversation. To be completely honest, the question made me angry. ![]() I couldn't think of a single thing I wanted. I immediately burst into tears and just kept repeating, "I don't know!' "I really dont know!" " I don't want anything else" This man had struck a cord with something deep in my heart. To this the man replied, 'Yeah, thats all well and good but you're the type of person that doesnt ask God for anything but He wants you to tell Him. When he asked me, all I could genuinely say was that I just wanted to know and love God. ![]() ![]() Now before you get all bent out of shape, I do NOT mean prosperity gospel. You see, this summer at Bethel a man prayed for me and told me that God wanted me to tell him what I wanted. I started to really look at how my heart is feeling and I thought of Abraham. Today as I mopped the floors of the daycare, looking for spots to buff out, I thought of everything going on in my life right now.
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